


going down in history as the world's biggest idiot

by totaltrashmammal



Series: the softer the skin, the sharper the teeth (jovana petra todd) [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Barely any dialogue, FJTW2020, Female Jason Todd, Gen, bruce is a himbo, dumb humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26432554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totaltrashmammal/pseuds/totaltrashmammal
Summary: As the weeks drew by, Bruce grew more and more frustrated with his lack of progress towards the Mirages. The city quickly grew to love the new defenders, increasing their popularity and making it hard for the citizens to listen to Bruce’s judgment. They proved as elusive as ever and the one time Bruce managed to corner them, a Gotham resident threw a beer bottle at Bruce. In the distraction, they slipped away, and Bruce stood there and snarled, dripping cheap beer onto the roof.For Female Jason Todd Week, Day Two: Never Died AU/College AU
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Duke Thomas, Jason Todd & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Series: the softer the skin, the sharper the teeth (jovana petra todd) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919677
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74
Collections: FemJay Week 2020





	going down in history as the world's biggest idiot

There was a new team of vigilantes in Gotham. This was unusual only in the way that they weren’t affiliated with the Bats and were trying to _help_. Bruce was used to having new rogues and other Gothamite crazies showing up but he never had someone try to help his crusade before. 

A local news station had dubbed these new players “The Mirages’ and the name had caught on like wildfire. From what Bruce could tell, it consisted of three members. Spoiler, Signal, and Bluejay. Frustratingly enough, neither his nor Oracle’s best efforts could figure out anything else about them. Oracle had proposed that perhaps they had another member behind the scenes, “An Oracle of their own” Barbara had said, seemingly frustrated with their lack of findings. 

After several nights of research proved nothing, Bruce had to acquiesce. The only concrete evidence that he had found was that Spoiler and Bluejay were females and Signal was the only known male member. Research hadn’t even told him this, but common sense after seeing the curves (or lack of) of the team. 

Batman gritted his teeth as he came across another yet prevented crime on his patrol route. A noise made him freeze and he watched as a figure picked their way across the groaning bodies before grappling up to a nearby roof. It was undoubtedly one of the elusive Mirages. 

“Robin.” He growled, hearing his sidekick slink out of the shadows to settle beside him. Even after the six months of mandatory training, it was jarring to see his neighbor’s kid and not his daughter beside him. Jovana had aged out of the role, more gracefully than the explosive fights that preceded Dick’s retirement of Robin, but not without their own share of arguments. Jovana _hadn’t_ wanted to give Robin up, citing that Batman always had a Robin and she didn’t want Bruce to suddenly have to get used to being on his own in the field again. 

Bruce was adamant that she was giving up the role to further her education. Things had gotten tense towards the start of Jovana’s first semester at Gotham University before one day she stormed into the kitchen with a meek Tim Drake in tow. 

_“He knows who we are.” She began with no preamble, Bruce hadn’t needed to ask what she meant. She fixed Bruce with her stubborn glare, “I’ve been training him for a few months now. He’s going to be my replacement.”_

The resulting argument had been their worst one yet as Bruce berated Jovana for being so irresponsible as to break the most important rule. They had been screaming at each other, neither willing to back down until Tim Drake himself spoke up in a quiet tone. 

“ _I found out on my own. “ He fiddled with his pockets, not meeting Bruce’s stunned eyes. “Jovana found out I knew and asked me if I wanted to be Robin after her.” He swallowed, straightening up and showing a glint of the steel in his backbone as he met Bruce’s eyes evenly. “I said yes.”_

Months later, Jovana thrived at college and Tim had proven to be a capable Robin Bruce was proud to have by his side. Batman swung towards the roof the figure had landed on, knowing Robin was by his side. He landed with a soft thump but it was still enough to turn the person’s head. _Good reflexes_ , he noted as he dodged the thrown knife. This close, he could tell the person was Bluejay.

High waisted cargo pants and a dark blue high-necked halter top made up the base layer of Bluejay’s uniform. Heavy combat boots led Bruce to believe she was the heavy-hitter of the Mirages and a blue half-mask obscured her face. She wore a leather jacket as dark as her pants over but strangely, the hood was a dark blue that matched the rest of the blue. The hood was pulled up, further obscured her face but Bruce swore there was something familiar about those eyes.

Robin landed beside him, but unlike Bruce, he fumbled and tripped, gasping when he saw Bluejay. Batman sighed, casting an eye to make sure that he was alright. Tim always acted weird whenever the Mirages, or specifically Bluejay, came up. He tried his best to hide it but he was too young and untrained to fool Bruce. Bruce had written it off as teenage infatuation, as Bluejay’s costume was a little too tight as if she had taken notes from Catwoman’s sinful suit.

Bruce understood the allure of the female body had on hormonal men and it was one of the main reasons he didn’t change Dick’s old uniform when it was passed to Jovana. He shuddered to think of his daughter clad in Bluejay’s uniform. 

By the time Robin righted himself, Spoiler and Signal had joined Bluejay on the roof. Both of them were standing in front of her as if to protect her, he noted with a small frown. He knew Batman had a reputation of punch first, ask later but he didn’t think it was this bad. He threw a batarang towards their huddle, breaking them apart and starting the fight. 

Huh. Maybe Batman’s reputation _was_ warranted. His two eldest would probably laugh at him. Tim would try to reassure him but Bruce believed that to be because he was still unsure around Bruce, rather than his own beliefs. Halfway through the fight, Bruce had learned a vast amount of information from the fight. First off, he rethought his previous view of Robin having a crush on Bluejay. Spoiler spent the entire time flirting with his new Robin, to which Robin was reciprocating, albeit hesitantly. Bluejay _was_ the heavy-hitter, he thought with a wince as one booted foot hit him in one of the few weak spots of the bat suit. It felt like the kick had bruised a rib and Batman dropped back a bit. 

The added space seemed to change something as Spoiler dropped back from Robin and Bluejay opted to not follow Batman, instead both of them falling beside Signal. Then Signal did _something_ that caused the shadows around them to twist and cover the trio. When the shadows returned to their rightful place, the Mirages were gone and he began to understand why the name had caught on. He also discovered another pressing thing. Signal was a _meta_ and Batman didn’t allow metas in his city. He pressed a hand against the small weak spot Bluejay had found with precision and frowned.

If the Mirages wouldn’t stand down, Batman would have to make them. 

The next morning Bruce made his way down to the kitchen. Alfred was elbow deep in what looked to be enough cookie dough to feed an army and he glanced up when Bruce came in. 

“Good morning, Master Bruce. If you would just give me a few minutes, I’ll fetch your breakfast for you.” 

Bruce shook his head, “I got it, Alfred. Thanks” He added as an afterthought. Alfred had spent years making sure Bruce knew his manners. Noise echoing down the hall made Bruce’s head turn and Alfred answered his question before it was voiced. Kneading the dough, he explained, “Miss Jovana and her friends dropped by this morning.” Bruce hummed, pleased, and abandoned his breakfast to seek out his daughter. 

He followed the laughter towards the library and suppressed a smile. It was nice to see that college hadn’t changed Jovana. Bruce entered the room and picked out the occupants within a heartbeat. Jovana was curled in her favorite armchair, a huge cushy monstrosity that was placed within the sunlight. Papers were scattered around her and she tapped a pen against her lips, scowling down at the textbook in front of her. Stephanie Brown, Jovana’s roommate, was sprawled in front of the fireplace, completely ignoring what was in front of her in favor of playing with her phone. Duke Thomas, a friend of both girls, was absorbed in a laptop as he lounged across the sofa. 

Bruce had already down extensive background research on both until he was satisfied that Jovana had picked good friends. He stayed suspicious of Duke for a little while longer, wanting to be completely sure of his intentions towards Jovana. Bruce realized he had nothing to fear when he walked in on Jovana in Rhea Harper’s lap, but that didn’t change the fact that he acted as an overprotective father terrorizing his daughter’s friend that just so happened to be a boy.

Seeing Duke freeze up and try to avoid eye contact made Bruce hide a wince. 

“B-man! What’s up, dude?” Stephanie’s exuberant voice greeted him, barely sparing him a glance as she rolled over to peer at her phone from a different angle. “I would get up and hug you but I’m texting Tim and that’s more important.” _Thank god_ , Bruce thought with a barely repressed shudder before the second part of the sentence hit him. 

“You know Tim?” He questioned, surprised. He probably shouldn’t be as they were Jovana’s friends and Tim was Jovana’s little brother but he had always thought friends didn’t care about little siblings. Various parenting books had told him that. Bruce thought about the Jovana and Rhea situation and decided that maybe the books he treated as the holy gospel weren’t a hundred percent right. 

“Of course I know Tim. We saw each other last night!” Bruce didn’t particularly find anything wrong with that statement until all three of them froze and stared at each other. There was only one reason that they would be acting this way, all awkward and frozen and he groaned internally. Bruce remembered the horror of Dick’s teenage years and didn’t know if he was strong enough to deal with it a second time. 

At least Tim was old enough that he didn’t need _The Talk_ like Dick had. Bruce _swore_ that _The Talk_ had turned Dick into a sex-crazed beast. “Just,’ Bruce rubbed his forehead, feeling the migraine that came associated with Stephanie Brown, “be careful,” He decided on with a neutral voice. His daughter and her friends were exchanging horrified looks and Bruce decided to drop it and turned to his daughter. 

“What are you working on?” He nodded to the mess in front of her and the room seemed to release a breath at the topic change. Jovana grumbled, collapsing against the chair like the dramatic theatre nerd she was. 

“An essay about The Great Gatsby.” she complained, “I hate that book. It’s just about,”

“An entitled narcissistic prick so overinflated with his own ego that he can’t take no’ as an answer?” He finished her complaint with her, feeling amused. Bruce remembered the triads Jovana would go on as she had to read the book in high school. “Yeah,” She huffed, crossing her arms. 

Bruce chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, you have fun kiddo. I have to get to work.” Jovana nodded, calling out an ‘I love you’ that warmed Bruce’s heart twelve times over. 

As the weeks drew by, Bruce grew more and more frustrated with his lack of progress towards the Mirages. The city quickly grew to love the new defenders, increasing their popularity and making it hard for the citizens to listen to Bruce’s judgment. They proved as elusive as ever and the one time Bruce managed to corner them, a Gotham resident threw a beer bottle at Bruce. In the distraction, they slipped away, and Bruce stood there and snarled, dripping cheap beer onto the roof. 

The worst part was another member joined the Mirages, one that was rarely seen and went by Orphan. He couldn’t confirm a gender on them and the lack of knowledge made his teeth gnash. The last thing he needed was the Mirages growing. 

His kids noticed his mood but none of them said anything, content to spend time with him without talking about cases. The days he spent with them eased his frustrations significantly and he adored the time with them, as chaotic as it was. Tim was more comfortable around his siblings and it lightened his heart to see his personality emerge. A snarky, smart as a whip, skater with a possibly debilitating coffee addiction that Bruce kept an eye on. He fit right in with the rest of them. 

Dick was in another relationship and he apparently thought this one was the one. Bruce didn’t bother to learn the name of whoever captured Dick’s easily won heart but stocked the freezer with the ice cream he preferred for the inevitable breakup. Jovana and Tim shared a despairing look when he announced and Bruce muffled a snort as he recalled the time Dick ruined Jay’s favorite shirt with snot. 

Jovana was thriving at Gotham University, a fact that Bruce would proudly tell anyone who would listen. She was double majoring in English and Theatre, minoring in languages. Dick had looked so horrified when she told them, asking Jovana if she was okay. Dick was Undecided when he dropped out to pursue a detective credential. She brought her friends over every other Saturday for a study day. The past few times another girl tagged on, a tiny slip of a thing that barely spoke but had such a bright smile. 

Jovana introduced her as Cassandra Cain and privately pulled Bruce aside to ask not to do a background search on her. Bruce wasn’t surprised that Jovana knew that he ran searches on Duke and Stephanie. Nevertheless, he agreed, Cassandra seemed so sweet and trustworthy that Bruce didn’t see a need to go against his daughter’s wishes. 

Bruce wasn’t content with his lack of progress but he was pulled out of the Cave by his kids enough times that he started to leave the Mirages alone. They _were_ helping him in the end, even if he didn’t agree with their methods. 

Of course, as things were settling down, everything went to shit.

Joker had managed to capture Batman with a well-placed explosion and whisked him away to a secondary location. It wouldn’t stop the trackers in the batsuit but it would make it more difficult to pull off a rescue. Joker was monologuing, Bruce only listening with half an ear, more focused on testing his bonds. 

The sharp scent of gasoline made his head jerk up and the Joker cackled, slapping his knee like someone from the 50s. His goons were dousing gasoline over the warehouse and he stifled a gasp when one poured a full jerry can over him. Joker picked up another can and humming, started to cradle it he waltzed around the room. 

Jovana had once asked why Batman didn’t permanently incapacitate the Joker since he wouldn’t kill him and seemed dissatisfied with the answer. Bruce was starting to see her point as the Joker began to bath himself in the gas. The goons left the warehouse, leaving the Joker and Batman alone, with the overpowering smell of gasoline. 

Bruce completely ignored the Joker as he began to explain his plan, twisting around in his bonds with a newfound urgency. Joker, noticing that Bruce wasn’t listening, slapped him across the face with a snarl. Joker had just opened his mouth when four figures crashed through the windows, sending glass everywhere. Bruce recognized the Mirages and wondered how they knew where he was.

Bluejay landed and immediately veered towards Bruce as the rest of the Mirages surrounded the Joker. Joker began yelling for his goons to attack them, pausing as he realized all the goons had left. 

Bluejay took care of his bonds, quickly and efficiently before easing Bruce out of the chair. He winced, coming to the conclusion that the explosion hurt him much more than he previously thought and tried to limp forward. Bluejay made a sharp noise and tugged his arm. The pull unbalanced him and he stumbled into her side with a muffled groan. All Bluejay did was make Batman lean against her, both of them making their way out of the warehouse. 

Bruce froze when they made it outside. The batmobile was parked haphazardly outside, but neither Robin nor Nightwing seemed to be in the vicinity. He tried to pull away from Bluejay, a snarl on his lips, ready to demand where his children were when Orphan materialized out of the shadows. Without a word, she stabbed at several pressure points and rendered him immobile. His dead weight was too much for Bluejay and she struggled to keep him upright for a few seconds before he collapsed on the pavement. 

Orphan shrugged apologetically. 

It took all four members of the Mirages to pull him into the passenger seat of the batmobile. He gritted his teeth and wished he could fight back as he was awkwardly shoved into the seat. Signal let out a terrified squeak as he banged Bruce’s head on the door but Bruce could barely hear it through the sudden ringing. A small scuffle broke out that he barely noticed before Bluejay slid into the driver seat and Signal, Spoiler and Orphan crammed into the backseat. 

He managed to loll his head towards the vigilante driving his car, absent-mindedly noting the dark blue gloves as she gripped the steering wheel. “What do you want.” He forced out, hoping that he was still intimidating. 

Bluejay huffed out a sigh before hitting the auto-pilot mode. Bruce narrowed his eyes in suspicion. There were only a handful of people that have even seen the interior of the batmobile. Bluejay twisted to face him, the backseat going quiet as the other vigilantes began to bounce their eyes from Batman to Bluejay as if they were watching a tennis match. Bluejay yanked her hood down, revealing a head of black corkscrew curls. Bruce’s mind whited out when the mask was pulled down. 

“Hey Dad. Surprise.” 

Jovana, his baby, his sweet daughter, was sitting across from him. Bruce’s jaw dropped and stayed on the floor. “You’re supposed to be at college.” He managed weakly. 

“Oh, we’re really doing this. Okay, I can dig it.” Stephanie Brown’s head popped out from the backseat to grin at Bruce. She was quickly yanked back but the damage was done. His mind was racing, connecting all the dots that were right in front of him. His mind was still overloaded from the information dropped on him, but one thing was clear. 

“ _Jovana Petra Todd-Wayne, You’re Grounded.”_

Stephanie crowed in the backseat, laughing as she shushed by Signal. Who was Duke Thomas. Which meant Orphan had to be Cassandra Cain. Jovana whined in protest, shooting him a look. “Seriously? I saved your life!” 

“If you argue, it’ll be worse.“ Bruce affirmed, “As it is, you’re grounded for two weeks.” 

Jovana groaned, shooting Bruce pleading eyes. He stood firm, unswayed in his decision. The only reason he shortened the time to one week was that the Mirages needed their leader in the field and definitely not because he was weak to his daughter’s puppy eyes. Dick should have never taught them to her. Jovana had a weapon capable of mass destruction and she knew it too. 

**Author's Note:**

> i threw this together. it was going be great but depression hit ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. i'll come back and edit. i hoped you liked it!
> 
> bruce: hm who are the new people  
> everyone else: i have NO clue hahah


End file.
